Wednesday, January 25, 2012

The Space Between...resolution and resolute

res·o·lu·tion / [rez-uh-loo-shuhn] /noun 1. a formal expression of opinion or intention made, usually after voting, by a formal organization, a legislature, a club, or other group. Compare concurrent resolution, joint resolution. (seems easy, right?)

res·o·lute / [rez-uh-loot] / adjective 1. firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion. 2. characterized by firmness and determination, as the temper, spirit, actions, etc. (not so easy)

Right, so here it is. My annual post (see 2009 and 2010) about the new year and resolutions and all that. Both of those posts were about how, whole heartedly, I intended not to make "New Year's Resolutions". For the most part, I succeeded. I made no promises to myself or to others under the guise of the new year. Changes happened and life entered a new season and we are pretty blessed and grateful to have landed where we are now.

So - 2012 resolutions? Yes. This year I decided to make a couple. Actually I made one last year too, which is where some of this year's came from, so the story bares sharing. On New Year's Eve 2010, Joel and I were invited to a wedding. Finding something I was comfortable wearing was hard. I asked for his help. {Confession: My husband is more stylish than I am.} {Confession 2: I had a hard time trusting his choices.} This led to a discussion, in which I admitted to him that I was unhappy with my body.
*Let me stop for a minute to make one thing clear, I do not for one second think that a woman should feel pressured to look a certain way. Women (and men) come in all shapes and sizes. As do many other beautiful, trees, get the idea. But you never see a peony killing itself to look more like a daffodil. Right? Of course, right! (a little Yenta, the matchmaker for you)*
OK - so- wedding, nothing to wear that I felt good in, big talk...and so...I decided to loose weight. I didn't make it an out loud New Year's resolution, but it was, in fact New Year's Eve so... Anyway, I got serious in early March (resolution - easy, resolute - not so much) and by the end of August, I had lost 22 pounds. {Confession 3: I just did a little cheer for myself. If you can't be proud of yourself, what's the point right?} Then, Irene happened. I won't go into a lot of detail, but Irene was the first of many excuses and the year ended with me 5 pounds shy of my 25 pound goal. Grrr. How I managed to only gain back 2 pounds is a miracle to me, although I lost muscle mass, no doubt.

So there it is. And here we are, 2012. New year. New goals. Oh and did I make just one resolution? Heck no! I went all in. 5! Here they are:

  1. Finish my 2011 resolution and lose a total of 25 pounds from March 2011 to March 2012. (see next post on how that's working out for me so far)

  2. Lose a few more by June and then maintain.

  3. Do a few "me" things. (I'm gonna sing and blog to start.)

  4. Get better at the "homey" stuff. (And I suppose by better I really just mean - be a little more joyful about housework....that and cook more...and better.)

  5. Pay off one credit card and save enough to go on vacation in the fall.

Resolutions - done. Resolute? Characterized by firmness and determination, as the temper, spirit, actions, etc. OK. Go.

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